I need to officially come out of the spiritual witchy closet…

So… yes, I own tarot and oracle cards (not all in the photo), crystals (some are my late brothers), I can heal others, feel, read and experience energy, I commune with my soul and it’s energetic power and guidance, I believe in a universal force; I tend to call it Divine, but it’s also known as God, Source, Spirit, Universe etc., whatever works for you, Higher Power etc..

Phew! I’m still alive! Haha, no burning stakes… ;-) It’s now out in the world! Liberation baby!! Haha. Just OWN who you are! It feels SO good! ✨🔥

I’m now owning that I am intuitive, I get messages through visuals. feelings and thoughts/ideas etc., many of the Clairs. I have had many epic energetic experiences where I have felt expanded beyond my body by hundreds of yards - stone sober - totally AWESOME; where I just felt interconnected with everything, past, present, future, love, joy, peace etc. I am beyond grateful for these spiritual peak experiences because they have taught me so much, from realising that we really know very little, in the mainstream, of what this human experience is. It’s taught me that I love and live for these experiences and states of being; I want more of them! Because they feel so real to me, they feel like the real me, this infinite essence of pureness. They bring me back to a place of just enjoying life, seeing it as a playful experience, not getting hung up on material societal achievements; like prioritising alone time, pursuing passions, creativity, wild camping and meditation so I can come back into myself from within.
Because the gold we all seek is within us.

I believe we are energetic beings/consciousness having a human experience, that yes, we need to surrender to, engage with what it means to be human, experience feelings, emotions etc. But, also be the captains of our lives, to set the compass due to where you want to go, to decide what is right for you, what we are and are not willing to put up with. I learnt this the hard way after 3 consecutive traumas and a decade of disconnect. Surrender to the full experience of what it means to be you, while also captaining the ship that is you, because yes, you will go through storms, the ship will get battered and maybe sink, but you can survive it and swim to a lifeboat or island; I feel like I drowned a few times in that decade. I was lost at sea for many years, until I gave myself some recovery time (thank you 2020), and was guided to trust again, in myself and the Divine and lead me to what I am doing now with my coaching and creativity.

I guess it all began when I knew as a child something was within me, something that I couldn’t explain, but was there, like a friend, a kind force that guided me or protected me. I also felt energy around my body, my soul’s energy field. But, again back then, I had no idea what this was that was happening, I just assumed it was part of me and that maybe one day I find out what it was. And that is was normal or not normal and no one talked about it…

My witchy vibes began when I was about 14 and I read a book on my parents bookshelf (they are not as spiritual as me, but super open to most things I talk about), and it was about witchcraft - I LOVED it! But, it also felt a little daunting that one could potentially possess power to make things happen.
I would often have deeply spiritual conversations with my Brother, so he was my “spiritual source”, many people around me didn’t really think about or talk about the things we did, so it was just a me and him thing. It brought us so close our teen years with my Dad being sick and us talking about life being more than what we saw.

But, as with many of us, I got sucked into “life”, because I didn’t really know what else do with “it”, I knew from about 11 I had healing powers, but had no idea what to do with this knowledge and skill, and as a young adult, I didn’t really fancy the Glastonbury scene, it wasn’t 100% me, but 50%. I wanted to be in both worlds, to connect them, but again didn’t know how, it seemed you were either in the Glastonbury spiritual scene, or behind closed doors… or just doing conventional life. I wanted to do my life…

I also played around as a teen with healing my then boyfriend from school, he had damaged his thumb playing basketball, so I just had fun to see what I could do (I had no idea), and ended up putting all his pain into my right hand and arm, it was awful… I learnt later on I need to be a channel, not a sponge! Suffice to say, my ex’s hand felt amazing afterwards. I also healed my brother’s should once, that was cool, but then I became a distant with it all. Only with my Brother, but then he was so beyond this world, it wasn’t always easy keeping up with him. It felt like I was made up of 2 parts and I had to keep them separate, thankfully now I am reconnected and at one with all my parts, but it wasn’t easy going through young adulthood, because we were all just trying to fit in, figure where our lives were meant to go, but I had no clue, I just wanted to enjoy life, but that was never what we were taught in the real world…

I haven’t always believed and been connected to the divine, after those 3 traumatic life-changing experiences, I had PTSD, but didn’t really know at the time… I had all these challenges that hit me like a freight train, grief, exhaustion, adrenal burnout, depression, anxiety, attachment and abandonment issues. So, yeah, I was a mess! A train wreck… I didn’t know who or what I was anymore, I didn’t have the one person I would turn to in a crisis and talk about the meaning behind it all… I was alone. I had some wonderful friends to help with the grief… but the spiritual side. Plus, me and the Divine kinda had a falling out after my Brother died, I had a Clairaudience experience, that after 12 years I still remember “leave him be”, so I listened and trusted, then the next day, he was dead WTAF Divine!!! However, over the coming months, I had this strange feeling of Deja Vu… like it was all part of this Divine plan of my life… I was pissed though…

So long story short, after meeting many people that I felt Nathan put my way, I managed over about a 10 year period of trying many things like therapy, healing, deep inner work, many dark nights of the soul, research etc., to put myself back to together again, all the fragmented pieces were now joined with this invisible glue; bit like those japanese pots Kintsugi… The golden glue is my soul, it’s the part of me that is always there, full of strength and courage, making sure all the pieces stay connected and in tune. It did help through my beauty therapy business I was able to hone and see my gifts in action, I just didn’t know what to do with them, other than use them as and when needed. Often I would massage a client or give a facial and energy would flow through me to them and often an orb of energy would be in the room, surrounding us, working it’s magic with me and the client. So if their soul needed some healing from me, they go it! I also performed a healing with a friend; we were just walking along and I knew in my heart I needed to say something that would be uncomfortable for her to hear, the next moment I could feel my solar plexus activating and hers too, she later told me that it felt warm and loving and that I had unlocked something in that energy centre, aka chakra, and she felt better, something had opened up.

Someone recently asked me if I was I ever like I am now, and I said yes, I have always been this version of me, but she was diluted and frightened to show herself for fear of ridicule and rejection, but she’s always been there often coming up for air but having to disappear again until it was safe or the right time. And so now, I am no longer diluted, I am showing up as my authentic bonkers self as best I can each and every day, because we owe that to ourselves, we owe it to ourselves to own and love all of us, and to follow what’s in our heart, no matter what.

What parts of you are you still hiding or diluting? What parts of you want to come out and play and be expressed?

Until next time…

Much love, stay true, stay awesome, stay YOU!

Let that fire in you burn and ignite. ✨🔥